I'm having a moral dilemma this morning.

Can you believe it's only 9:48 am and I'm already having a moral dilemma?

All this Government shutdown stuff is weighing heavily on a lot of people. I have sat and watched CSPAN for days on end, read every article I could on the current issues in Washington, educated myself on budgets / deficits / stop gaps / etc.

As I understand the situation we are no longer squabbling over a 7 billion dollar difference in budget. Yes, that's the official stance of the Government but we know it's coming down to an anti-abortion provision stuck within the proposed budget.

I am, have always been, and will continue until the day I die be FIRMLY against abortion. Nothing will change that. Ever.

I on the other hand do not believe abortions should be illegal.

Doesn't make sense to ya huh? Let me expound upon that line of thinking:

God has given us the power to choose how we want to live our lives. We can choose to follow His path or we can veer off and make our own paths in life.

If God has given us the amazing gift, who are we to try and take it away from other people? Is it not the same gift God has given everyone?

Yes.

So if someone chooses to have an abortion then that's their God given right.

Now having said that, I don't believe I should pay for others to choose to have an abortion. Your right to have an abortion should not superceed my right to not believe in them or support them.

I sat here yesterday so frustrated with all that's going on and I caught the thought going through my head, "Ugh, why can't they just give in on the stupid abortion issue so that people can get paid and not have to struggle to feed their families".

Wow Jess, really? I was shocked that such a thought would go through my head. Why is it that I was so willing to bend on the very moral ground I stand on for money? I was very ashamed of myself and it got me thinking.

Jesus told us that as Christians we would go through hard times, we would suffer and sacrifice for our Faith. Is this one of those times that we need to suffer and sacrifice for our Faith?

I know, non believers will scoff and think, "What a poor misguided woman this is thinking that she has to suffer for a God she can't prove is there".

Sure, in these terms it might seems awfully silly to be willing to put my family through suffering but let's look at it in terms we can all grasp:

When we go into the workforce we have to be willing to sacrifice our time, what we think we are worth salary wise, and let our nerves be frayed to pieces so that we can reach our ultimate goal of being a CEO, Doctor, Lawyer, etc.

This is the premise of Faith. We as Christians go through our lives being willing to sacrifice so that we can reach the ultimate goal of living with God in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Am I willing to go through this for my ultimate goal? You betcha.

Now that I've worked through all that I don't think what I have is so much a dilemma as a moment of clarity.

God has told us he will always provide for us. Right now, this moment, I feel secure in that promise. It may not be to the level I am used to but we will get by one way or the other, and that's enough for me.

Officially still don't know.

Frustrated with my ever diminishing wad of homemade fondant, I decided a break from my cake making would be nice.

After plopping down into my oh so comfy computer chair and pulling up Facebook I see this link:

It's Official; Military will not be paid in Government Shutdown

Mouth dry, chair not so comfortable anymore, I stupidly decided to click the link.

It's official.

We won't get paid if the government shuts down.

Ok well we already kinda figured that right? We still have no clue whether the government will shut down however I'm assuming the odds of it happening are about as great as me devouring the last kit kat in the house before Lexi gets home.

What gets me most about this article is they lable it, "It's Official" as if they have some kind of real concrete news to present.

Instead it's just a litany of the same crap we've been reading for the past month.

I'm freaked out about this as it is. No folks, we don't have savings. Oh and contrary to popular belief, Officers AREN'T all "rolling in the dough", and not all people who don't have savings are, "Irresponsible dirt bags who deserve to go hungry so maybe they'll learn how to save".

Lemme break it down for you like this:

We HAD 10k in savings. Do you know what happened to it? We spent it all fighting for a child who claimed he was being emotionally and physically abused. We spent that 10k in good faith over the course of 4 emotionally draining years all to find out in the end said child had been playing all of us the entire time.

Now we have no more savings, no more manipulative kid, and are in the shitter. Thankyouverymuch.

You are right, Rich is an Officer. You are right, we'll be ok... as long as he gets paid!

Yes, I'm a Republican. I believe that people should earn what they receive, not just get it handed to them for the mythical greater good. Please explain to me how taking money away from hard working people benefits the Country? As far as I can tell all this does is encourage more able bodied lazy people to hold their hands out in an attempt to get a "free ride" instead of going out and earning a living like those they are taking from. Meanwhile these same people are booking cruises and gloating on message boards about how they have so much money in their savings account. They needed that EIC huh? They need those WIC vouchers you're handing out huh? They need the food stamps? Right, and I need one more spare tire to add on.

Now I'm not heartless. Although I do believe that Welfare should be EXTREMELY hard to get, I do believe we should have it. I do believe there are those out there who are actually sick, who actually cannot work. THOSE people deserve help. THOSE people are the ones who end up getting shafted because all you have to do is lie on a few forms and you get a free paycheck. It's disgusting.

Why is it that if the government shuts down Congress continues to get paid? From where I'm sitting Congressmen are the ones NOT DOING THEIR JOBS. I'm sorry but I was raised on the belief that if you don't do your job, YOU GET FIRED AND DON'T GET PAID.

Crazy concept yeah?

Or how about unemployment and welfare continuing to be paid? Again, why are we giving money to those NOT working and withholding the livelihood of men and women who are not only working but who are PUTTING THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE to allow you to sit in your gilded castle fighting like a bunch of toddlers over the last cookie?

None of this makes any iota of sense to me.

I understand things are not fair in life. It's one of those things I believe builds character in us. That ever expanding desire to overcome the odds and the unfairness.

This? This doesn't even come close to being unfair. This is reprehensible that it's even considered a viable option.

You want some help saving money Congress?

- Make people pay for their OWN abortions
- Make people who are able bodied WORK for a living
- Cut down the INSANE salaries you are paying yourselves
- The earmarks.. oh hell the earmarks. Really? At this juncture you want to fight about some earmarks?

Watch your family go hungry for a few weeks while you are being shot at and then come tell me if those earmarks are still important to you.

Cake making and Kids DO go together!

I'm an infamously impatient person.

At the ripe old age of 28 I am willing to admit that my id is very much in charge of my personality. (For those who aren't versed in Sociology, the id is the part of your personality that craves instant gratification.)

Usually when I bake a cake I can't wait for it to cool long enough so most often as I'm transfering my still warm cake it breaks right in half! Then I have to spend just that much extra time fixing it :(

As if I hadn't learned my lesson from that, I then still don't let it completely cool and slap my homemade buttercream on there only for it to slowly drip down the sides taking big chunks of cake with it.

Ok then, let's re-ice it.

Then I put the finally crumb coated cake in the freezer to set up while I get the fondant ready. Now really at this point you should have already set up your flowers / leaves / whatever you want to stick on said cake but it's me.... I don't have that done.

So I get the fondant on and my newly made flowers / leaves (which are now wilted thanks to my," I want to do it now" complex) and I'm left with an alright looking cake.

That's my normal MO.

Today however I woke up so motivated that by 9am I had the entire house cleaned and breakfast made, eaten, and cleaned up so brilliant me decided to undertake a cake!!

As we know, I have a toddler and a newborn so making a cake is way harder now than it ever was before. I'm having to constantly leave the kitchen to play hide and seek with Anna, nurse Abby, change butts, clean up the snack Anna has thrown around the living room floor for the 8th time, etc.

What I noticed though is that my cakes actually cooled this time! When I transfered them they didn't break in half!

My buttercream was able to set up nicely, and my crumb coating went on without a hitch.

By george I think I'll start making cakes like this more often!

What can be done in an hour and a half?

Wow it's been awhile since I've blogged.

I admit, I'm not much of a blogger but with Rich working such long hours I find myself having so much to say and nobody to say it to. Maybe this blogging thing will work out.

So I'm sitting here with sore muscles and a happy smile on my face as I look around my sparkling clean house and marvel that I managed to do the majority of it in an hour and a half.

I laid Anna down for a nap at noon and it's now 1:22pm. In that time I've gotten the following accomplished:

- Dishes done and put away
- Last load of laundry folded and put away
- 45 minute workout done
- Bathroom cleaned
- Floors swept and vacuumed

I can't express how satisfying that feeling is. I know that as soon as Anna wakes up the house will be trashed once again but right now, in this moment, all is right in my world.

I think my new daily goal will be, "What can I get accomplished in an hour and a half?"

Onto tomorrow..

Ode to my friend.

Dear friend,

You are there (sometimes) to teach me a new Jew word of the day.
You are bright and bubbly and always know what to say.

I love that you're an avid Facebooker,
Mainly because you manage to work in "You dirty pirate hooker"!

Dear friend don't nag me about my blog,
I'm boring and live the life of a pampered hog. ('sept I take showers :))

Before you get offended please know,
I do love you my dear Jew friend and hope to get you as a present for my birthday with a big red bow.

And I clearly suck at poetry.

The end.

Bringing a Whole New Meaning to Laziness!

Ok so it's not so much laziness per say as an odd quirk but:

Am I the only one that HATES going pee? (No comments on my facination with bodily functions)

It's just such a LONG process! And one I don't get anything out of.

I mean really .. when you spend time to bake a cake or cook a nice meal, it requires time and effort but at the end of it you get something supremely satisfying.

What do I get from peeing?? Part of me thinks it would be nice just to get a urostomy and call it a day...

Ok well a urostomy may be taking it a step too far but a catheter maybe? Then I'd only have to empty my bag every once in awhile.

*sigh* Off to go pee...

Dogtags? Nope.. towels.

When you think of soldiers what do you automatically think of?

Uniforms, combat boots, tanks, and dogtags. Not me. I think of towels.

As I sat cross legged on the couch watching my secret obsession Flipping Out, I casually folded towels hardly paying attention to what I was doing.

I look down and I see "Weller XXXX" (the Xs were the last 4 of his social). It dawned on me at that moment I was living the Army lifestyle.

Of course I have been for the past 4 1/2 yrs and as with any other lifestyle, you get used to it. It becomes the norm and you find yourself not realizing you are any different than any number of Americans.

Tonight jolted me back into the knowledge that I live a uniquly special life that with all it's ups and downs, I'm grateful for.

My  husband leaves for long periods of time for training and deployments, not to mention the long hours at the office but you know what? I love it.

I love the feeling of accomplishment when I am able to handle car mishaps, AC repair, or even the excitement of plowing through each day as a mother of two very active kids.

I love  moving often. I am seeing so many new places, and people (not always a good thing :P).

I love seeing my husband salute the flag and tear up when I see him advance more and more in a career he believes in and loves.

I love the challenges this lifestyle has presented me with that I have conquered each and every time.

 And I love seeing my husband's name and last 4 of his social on my towels.