I'm having a moral dilemma this morning.

Can you believe it's only 9:48 am and I'm already having a moral dilemma?

All this Government shutdown stuff is weighing heavily on a lot of people. I have sat and watched CSPAN for days on end, read every article I could on the current issues in Washington, educated myself on budgets / deficits / stop gaps / etc.

As I understand the situation we are no longer squabbling over a 7 billion dollar difference in budget. Yes, that's the official stance of the Government but we know it's coming down to an anti-abortion provision stuck within the proposed budget.

I am, have always been, and will continue until the day I die be FIRMLY against abortion. Nothing will change that. Ever.

I on the other hand do not believe abortions should be illegal.

Doesn't make sense to ya huh? Let me expound upon that line of thinking:

God has given us the power to choose how we want to live our lives. We can choose to follow His path or we can veer off and make our own paths in life.

If God has given us the amazing gift, who are we to try and take it away from other people? Is it not the same gift God has given everyone?

Yes.

So if someone chooses to have an abortion then that's their God given right.

Now having said that, I don't believe I should pay for others to choose to have an abortion. Your right to have an abortion should not superceed my right to not believe in them or support them.

I sat here yesterday so frustrated with all that's going on and I caught the thought going through my head, "Ugh, why can't they just give in on the stupid abortion issue so that people can get paid and not have to struggle to feed their families".

Wow Jess, really? I was shocked that such a thought would go through my head. Why is it that I was so willing to bend on the very moral ground I stand on for money? I was very ashamed of myself and it got me thinking.

Jesus told us that as Christians we would go through hard times, we would suffer and sacrifice for our Faith. Is this one of those times that we need to suffer and sacrifice for our Faith?

I know, non believers will scoff and think, "What a poor misguided woman this is thinking that she has to suffer for a God she can't prove is there".

Sure, in these terms it might seems awfully silly to be willing to put my family through suffering but let's look at it in terms we can all grasp:

When we go into the workforce we have to be willing to sacrifice our time, what we think we are worth salary wise, and let our nerves be frayed to pieces so that we can reach our ultimate goal of being a CEO, Doctor, Lawyer, etc.

This is the premise of Faith. We as Christians go through our lives being willing to sacrifice so that we can reach the ultimate goal of living with God in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Am I willing to go through this for my ultimate goal? You betcha.

Now that I've worked through all that I don't think what I have is so much a dilemma as a moment of clarity.

God has told us he will always provide for us. Right now, this moment, I feel secure in that promise. It may not be to the level I am used to but we will get by one way or the other, and that's enough for me.